Happier Times
The glisten of the river reminds me of,
Happier times
Times when everyone was still together,
Still alive
I remember the way my mother,
With her rosy cheeks,
Her plump figure,
Would tell me and my brother,
Even the smoothest surfaces have bumps buried beneath.
I couldn't comprehend it then,
When I was but a little girl,
But now it rings as clearly as church bells on Sunday,
You may have the appearance of a perfect and joyful life,
A life of innocence,
But down inside you hurt with such pain,
You feel as though someone is stabbing you with a sword of anguish,
Of disconcert,
Almost unbearable.
My family gone,
As well as the flame that plagued our farm that night,
And now so is my joy
The place I once thought of as home,
Only leaves me with the feeling of,
Emptiness,
Dread,
For I now know I will always be here gazing at the river,
Dreaming about
Happier times
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I really like how your poem tells a whole story - a wonderful time, with everyone together, then a fire on the farm, and now a seemingly good life, but really bad. I was not sure why the river reminded her of the better times, though.
ReplyDeleteWOW!! Mikki that was really good...I love how you have some rhyming pattern in there also! I enjoyed reading this and it in my mind I could imagine this memory you were describing! Good job.
ReplyDeleteMikkiii! Your poem is really good! I like how there was a sort of rhythm throughout it and your variety of vocabulary. I could really picture this in my head the way you were describing it. Good job, I loved it!
ReplyDeleteMikki, that was amazing! This is a great poem, and made me feel really sad and then really happy. But I guess that's what it's about... so great job! I like how you repeated Happier times. It made me feel like I was there when all this was happening. Great job on this poem!
ReplyDeleteThis is powerful. I was totally drawn in and pretty much shaken! Very cool. As you continue to grow as a writer, look to revise, constantly controlling how you sound. Beautiful work.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing poem. It made my emotions like a rollercoaster!!!!! Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteWOWWWW!!!! MIKKII!! This was so good.. For a second I thought this was a poem from your poet. The way your words flow is perfect and your wordchoice is unbelievable. This piece really shows how brilliant you really are. When I look back on the comments, it looks like you've really affected people in a good way. This poem got everyone thinking. GREAT JOB MIKKI!!! :D
ReplyDeleteWOW Mikki!!! This is one of the best poems that I have seen on peeople's blogs!!! You make writing seem so easy! Your vocabulary is amazing, and your thoughts flow perfectly. Like Olivia, I thought for a second that your poet wrote this; I had to go back and check to make sure that you wrote this. You are a great writer!!!
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