He spoke to me,
On All-Hollows Eve,
A night I won't forget.
Through the trees,
He came to me,
And asked me to understand,
"I'm just a boy like all the others,
But people can not comprehend,
That although I try to be like everyone else,
I fail again and again.
The Horrible,
They call me,
For my skin is much too fair.
The Horrible,
They call me,
For I have lost my hair.
The Horrible,
They call me,
For I'm sick and can not run.
The Horrible,
They call me,
For soon my life will be done."
I could not understand why,
All these years,
The boy was different.
But now I know,
The hurt he feels,
Struggling to fit in.
The boy begins to weep,
And collapses on the ground,
"My life is done,
And now you know,
The hatred I have found."
The Horrible,
They called him,
As though that were his name.
The Horrible,
They called him,
As though it were a game.
The Horrible,
They called him,
Is gone from us now.
The Horrible,
They called him,
Is now safe and sound.
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Wow Mikki, good job! I really like your idea for this poem, and how some of the lines rhyme. I can't think of any constructive criticism for you, though. Overall, this is a really good poem.
ReplyDeleteMikki,
ReplyDeleteAwesome, this poem is really good. It made me really sad, but that's good because it was so mature it caused my emotions. The rhyming really had a good effect and the repetitiveness made it really touch my heart. Great Job!
-Karen
This is a really good poem! I like the way you used a repetetive pattern and how some of the words rhymed. The mood of this poem is different than most of the other ones I have read--I like it! There is nothing that I would change about this poem. Nice meez.
ReplyDeleteThis was a cool poem. I think you may want to chose a form, either open or closed, and stick with it. Then you can use the sounds more effectively.
ReplyDeleteWow! This is amazing. I love how you don't directly come out by saying why he is horrible and who he is. That way the reader decides for herself the details of the poem. :)
ReplyDelete