Author's Note- Since this weekend was Memorial Day Weekend I thought a lot about the past wars. Everyone always remembers the soldiers for their bravery, which is how it should be. And thinking about them got me to think about their families and what would happen if everyone in a family died, leaving only a child left.
Different and strange,
Broken and sad,
His family all gone,
He's everything but mad.
The war took its toll,
And now he's alone.
The bombs hit,
When it was snowy and cold.
Now in the city
He was born and raised,
Nothing he wants more
For his life to be erased.
What did I do to have this happen to me?
He cried to the heavens
He shouted to the seas.
With one picture of the past,
And his fathers gun,
He wants to end his life at last.
But then appears his sister,
And she cries for him to stop,
I want you to live your life, please don’t make it stop.
Away he puts the gun,
He starts to run,
Towards the city,
To begin his new life,
For his sister.
Oh this is really good and quite deep. For awhile in the poem I was like holding my breath because i didn't want him to die and that shows really good writing. Nicely done :)
ReplyDeleteThis was really good, I liked how you wrote about something that really mattered to you. I especially liked how it kind of told a story, it was very cool. I loved it!
ReplyDeleteI love how the author's note leads into the poem; it gives such meaningful context to what you are writing. These are important things to contemplate on days set aside to do so. If I were your parent, I would be so proud that you took time to thing seriously, and reflect on such matters, when it is so tempting to see days like Memorial Day as a chance to barbeque, picnic, and see a parade. From an English point of view, I like the closed form. I think it is the way you should approach poetry. But remember that when you write closed form, you need to establish a set pattern to the lines, a set number of syllables per line in that pattern, and not waiver from it through the whole poem. Your lines are written in different lengths, so the rhyme scheme gets a little off, and hard to follow, like music that doesn't keep a beat.
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